Patrick Is Back!!!

no elephant tusk can keep him down! (well, maybe if it were still in him it could.)

we were all a little afraid that he wouldn't be able to really come back. that he'd have psychological trauma, or that his wife and kids would beg him not to. but he's working again. well not quite, because he isn't allowed to lift or run or do anything strenuous, so i guess he's just working as much as he ever did when steve wasn't around.

it's a little unnerving to have him watch me work. i'm doing much more than i was allowed to do before he left, and i'm so worried that he will think we've all been cutting corners and that we haven't learned from and are not taking seriously his accident. but it does give me incentive to improve.

it's great to have him back.

Call me Tyler and join my club.

I haven't been able to sleep lately. I would have sworn that I didn't sleep at all last night, except I remember a little bit of a dream.

I was walking through the kitchen of my empty house and when I turned around, I saw bloody footprints on the floor. My mind started to race through the possibilities of where they came from... Was one of my roommates actually home and injured? Did the prints belong to them or the bad guys? Suddenly I felt my feet starting to slip out from beneath me. I looked down to see I was standing in a puddle of blood. My blood. I was hurt really bad and I was all alone.

Other than the mili-second it took to dream that up, I was pretty wide awake all night.

Speaking of all alone, I'm tired of it.

My roommates are never home, and Linzie is actually moving to Sacramento soon. All of my friends have scattered , and despite my best online efforts, I can't meet new people around here.

I went to the best little bar to sing Karaoke the other day. It was in the cutest town I have ever seen. Actually pretty close to work. I started checking out housing in that area just in case a change of scene is what I need. But I realized that anywhere closer to work than I am right now is way too expensive, plus, thanks to the lack of singles in the region, I already know everyone age 20 to 30 who lives there anyway. Social life sucks, church life sucks, roommate situation sucks, thank goodness for my wonderful job!

OH WAIT! On Monday Steve cornered me to tell me, once again, that I am LAZY. Because of the way I hold the walkie-talkie. Yes, there is a lazy way to hold the walkie-talkie. I am tired of working my ass off just to be insulted. Tell me I'm doing something wrong. Tell me how to do it better. DO NOT tell me I am defective.

So, turns out there are 2 zoos nearby which are hiring. Turns out they pay almost half again what I am making now. Turns out that the one in Sacramento would put me close enough to live with Linzie again. Hmmm... food for thought.

So much thought, in fact, that I can't sleep. Where is Meatloaf when I need him?

If you're handsome and you know it, clap your hands

that way, you can applaud yourself and i won't have to.

and just maybe it will keep you so busy, you won't have time to screw with me.

i'm very proud of you for being good-looking, and rich, and helping sick kids . but you are an ass. and no amount of volunteer work will change that. if you couldn't brag about it, you wouldn't do it.

call me when you break up with yourself.

What was Roy complaining about?

i just got attacked by a tiger!

o.k., not A tiger. three! they came after me when i was already on the ground, defenseless, and began to bite me mostly on my head! i was trying to protect myself from any major injury, so i didn't notice that while one was clawing through my hair, and another was chewing on my elbow, the last was headed to my feet...

then the licking started.

the biggest one may only weigh 20lbs, but man, those buggers can really mess up a ponytail and tickle your toes!

i got to bottle feed them and burp them, and they sucked on my fingers while they fell asleep with their full, round bellies in the air. they like their paws massaged while they sleep. i wanted to keep them, but i've smelled the grown-up version before and i think i'll stick with my cat.